Dreamzzzz....

Whenever one uses the word Dreamzzz....all sort of unimaginable,unthinkable things start twisting and twirling in my mind.I have turned 20,and now i do feel that i am in some position to make judgements about others and myself.We all live in an atmosphere,where what we have can never be enough.Like it is very well said that"the grass is always greener the other side"...
To start with i used to be one self content person,i think the whole concept of dreamz was missing from my life.There was nothing that i didnt have in my life....it was a satisfying feeling....but then 2 years back...my life took a reverse turn...i dream i dream i dream.....and i am loving it.
The whole concept of dreams come in a package....along with it are a lot of unwanted attachments,like the bank of pessimist people who are always there to discourage us.....but still i dont stop dreaming.
My dreams vary...sometimes its about what i will achieve in life...I always picyurize myself in doing great things for my nation....my future...my guy....all of it...My dreams are still not in the ubnoxious category.I still dont dream wild....i wonder why???
May be it is always the shielded upbringing,but I cant put all the blame on others...finally it is me who has to take a call.I am answerable to my self.......I am inspired from my friends a lot.
One thing Joyee....you were there always for me.You have played a poignant role in shaping me up....i always dream to have your type superior command over english,your opinions....they are all so logical...I continue dreaming.....with i guess with a wider horizon..

something has shaken me

there are times when one feels so helpless,guilt concious....for that is happening around...the recent mumbai attack on the 26 nov has totally shaken my belief over the dream of my India,the slain act of barbarism by them just shows how immoral these terrorist are...There was a belief in me that muslims are responsible for spreading terror in my nation...but thanks to these terrorist they have helped me and my fellow Indians to abide by the fact the"terror knows no religion".I am sure now no political party can sway the masses on the name of religion.
i had these urge to really pen this down on my blog.Its kind off a message that is to all people who are responsible for the terrror attacks in my nation.Killing innocent people and showering bullets on them serves no purpose...it just shows the coward in you.It is easy to press the trigger....and shoot,as they have no courage to fight one on one with us....These people are like rats hiding in all the places and commiting various hideous crimes....as a nation I think this is the time to start a nation wide movement....to stop creating borders inside our own people...we need to be united as a nation..to counter the terrorist.
I would like to pay sincere homage to all the departed souls...who have laid there lives in saving us....We need to honour them..Ashok Kamte,Vijay Salaskar,Hemant Karkare...and our NSG commandoes and all the hawaldars who died...your sacrifice can never be forgotten.Its time that my country needs to boycott Pakistan in all ways...we dont need a dialogue...we dont believe in your hollow words...we dont want ties with you..be it cultural,sporting...anything....
A war can never be a solution in such an environment....all we want is security to the masses....strengthen our intelligence services....give the security of the country to NSG...do whatever,but do something....we are waiting for some action.....

one hell of an experience

What to write,what to tell...i will sum up...i nearly saw death....you can say that i am exaggerating a bit,but still i was suffering fron bronchitus.....holy shit!!!...i can assure the whole experience is scary,shitty and the overdose of antibiotics make you feel shitt..i hate the way i look now....it took me years to get over my dark circles,as well as the immoral tonsils.....I have come a long way in terms of fitness,there was a time when i could not walk a mile also....but now only i had started with jogging....
If fitness is to be taken,i think i am obesessed with it...even if a eat a small piece of food,my pangs of guilt start functioning...and the pertinent thing being, I am not thin from any angle....but still one can call me fit...I guess that is more important...
well it was that horrifying sunday evening of my life......the whole season has a festive feel to it....but i was soffucating myself to all the pain and agony...i couldnt breathe...even normal clothes where not giving me air to breathe....my head caught in a whirlwind...And only one question to ask...why did it happennn.....even the doctore are clueless about it...still no conclusion,I guess this gets further more serious as untill the cause not known...how can the treatment start....but i guess my will power really needs to be improved......A lot over my health.....and to the festive season...nothing much to tell...I have always felt that festivals in my family are not celebrated with the gusto and fiesty mood as in others....i always there is always an air of sadness...was it the initial fianacial crunch that my family had gone,that make them feel spending money on anything except basic necesseties of life a total waste......
That is one issue that pertains to every middle class first generation city dwellers.....there is enough money for all the goods in life.....but why feel the guilt while spending it...
I have planned a lot or my future...and i am sure that i achieve it also...and i surely believe in the concept of consumerism....and wish my family understands me and doctors help me in finding that one particular virus my lungs are allergic to..... and get well soon!!!!

A Wednesday...

Today is wednesday,anyways what is so special about it....that I wish to write about, how wednesday has affected me....To start with I just learned the logic behind keeping wednesday as the sabse sasta din for Big Bazaar...once you through the logic,I wonder how does one has the thinking ability to interpret a consumers spending pattern...Its quite an interesting piece,that I would like to write it done...."It goes like this generally the new concept of an executive costumer has come up..they wish to purchase all the groceries and household stuff on weekands,so it is a compulsion for these stores to keep fresh stock on the weekands.But this requires them to get away with the old stock...now comes the catch,so they give consumers and themselves to get done with it..at the market price on monday and tuesday.Finally A Wednesday is here,so they put up discounts and other various offers...to sell it off....In the end they are left with thursday and friday.They are left for the stock to be upgraded ..."
In a nutshell..the best part being that how even such small and insignificant cosumer practices are taken in account before framing any policies.The world to us seems to be very simple..yet there are hidden complexities that are interwined in our lifes. Often such situation arises that very reactions are so predictable....and to add on....it is one example I have learned how being a smart manager helps the firm....
My wednesday is still not over....a movie that I watched over the weekand.I had an indispensible urge to finally write on the most sensitive issue,something close to my heart and to my nation....the situation of muslims in India.A wednesday gives the right idealogy one will have to keep if not today but tommorow to curb terrorism in India.Its about how one "stupid common man" if pushed beyond the edge can rise from the ashes.
I am firm believer that terror knows no religion...recently there was a news about a nun veing raped...My take on it is its not about a nun being raped,its about women being raped...Only in India you can hear such piece of news....women are raped in this country every 9 minutes...but if it a nun,it becomes a political issue....
Similary in the movie..the common man shown has no religion...nor they give him a name through out the movie...The whole fear of being on the verge of death...takes a toll at him,and one day he decides that enough is enough....He himself willl have to clean the dirt of our nation...
In this country the root cause of terrorism is politics...votebank politics is played on every front...Why is that our Nation leaders are so shy to debate their policies and idealogies in the public...dont we have enough strong individuals to lead our nation. Why is Rahul Gandhi called the "yuvraj" of congress...are we still leaving in the era of dynasty politics...We have entered a vicious circle sowed by our very own elected leaders...The solution to this problem can be only to take a bold step...toughen our terror laws...and take decisions,otherwiswe in a situation where the verdict on the mohhamad Afzal case is still pending...it send such a wrong signal of India being a weak state....We really need to react and we as individuals contribute to the nation.....

just another day...

I think I have lost the pace with which i was competing with the world.When I look back and see the promises that i made to my self...i think i have won only half the race.there so much to be done..My life no longer revolves around being a regular teenager....infact the problem being that I have become such a different person now...its kind off difficult to digest...For people who know me since ages and now...I surely want to know what they have to say...Forget about what other people have to say.The surely unwanted bantering does not bother any more.
Sometimes I ponder,am I actually missing with all the fun in life...surely not ....life is so much more brighter now...Somekind of maturity i have attained,I actually have a very strong dislike towards P.J.s...they somehow are not at all amusing to me,infact moreover hammers stammering over your head...This surely is a weird feeling for others to imagine...
One thing is for sure...if i ahve been open about it or not..."my obsession to loose weight" no matter how thin or fat I am...this feeling is actually too strong to get ridd off....inspite with my watering nose and fever...nothing actually stops me from going on my walking schedule...I guess my fatty acids or in control,if not the cells multiplying....and here I am trying my hand in producing this obnoxious peice of writing...for anyone interested to go through....Again a reminder to Joyee...Wake Up! honey!!!..

finally my group of friends

Hey,finally i can say that I have found my group of friends.The best feeling is that it makes you feel so complete,apecially with such a shielded upbringing I totally love the fact that people want to talk to me,are waiting for me.Introspect all the activities that are taking place in my life....i can proudly say that THESE ARE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE...finally my parents are trying to understand me,its just not about scoring in exams...its surely something more that i have realised after wasting all the precious years of my life.But i guess its never too late to make a beginning,i am happy for myself and for the all my friends...this phase of content shouldnt pass by......
And special reference to my most lovable friend Joyeeta...who inspite of all the promises has no time to even give a single reading...forget about droping a comment...but i guess i have behaved with people in even a worse manner...so it prove the basic law...every reaction has an equal and opposite reaction...
Now i wait people to drop in comments...but its kind off a personal blog....if my friends bother its enough for me....

placement season!!!

oh my god!!! life sudeenly has become so hectic....initially i used to cribb,that i am not busy enough.....but things have taken a complete new shape.I get up in the morning with a ready of list of what all is to be done today.Specially with the placements coming up it all work honey!!!.There is ahuge list of things to be done....like brushing up your technical skills,communication skills.....and an overall development.But i should say...a new improved ankita is here,i can feel it.There is a huge difference in the way people used to percieve me and now.....i am more happy.....specially with my fan following on all time high....i feel good.....in the end i feel i had nothing substantial to tell...still...i am here

MY CITY DELHI

pondering over all the latest mishappening in my nation as well as my beloved city has taken me jolted.i come from a family of freedom fighters,we JATS since ages have risked their in life for the pride of mother INDIA,and continue to do so...With all the continous blast in our city,i cant set my mind anywhere else except those who die in the service of our nation.Be it the uncountable number of soldiers who have laid their life or the delhi police inspector M.C.Sharma.
Writing out here is very easy,to criticize them even easier....i want to know weather these lives given up in the service of our nation is being respected or not.Taking a look at our anti terrorist laws gives an impression of India being a weak state to the world....As a layman i have so much to write on,comment on....but when i look at myself,who wm i to say about the pride of our nation,when i am not contributing in any form...
To end the piece i have one thing to say...all these hedious acts of crime make us hate the whole society as a whole,not those nefarious minds.....PEACE PEACE......

Crushes around me

well what exactlt we mean when we say...."oh! i have got a crush on him"...to start with i just feel its one way of saying that you are attracted to that person.moreover now i think i have reached certain level of maturity,to look bak in the past can be one good experience.
Having a crush for me basically keeping yourself busy in my dry college.in the whole process of having a crush.....it basically kills my time waiting for that one person,thinking about the one...and all sorts of crazy imaginative shit your mind becomes the home to.Those innocous gestures,exchange of glances...and the whole feel of being connected in some mysterious form with that person.I am sure there is nothing much to talk between the two....still some sort of enigma takes over.
Presently i am feeling a geriatric.with no one i my life.For the first time i guess i am devoting time for self.I kind of self evaluation is going and i am having a much neede reality check.i have enrolled myself for MBA coaching with some vision in my mind.This time i am all focussed with the right kind of positive energy one needs.
I think it was all a part of growing up....life is totally different now...with an aim...and CRUSHES are passe....

I AM BACK AGAIN

Sorry for not writing for so long.....my erratic internet connection might be the right answer or just the fact how inclined i am towards it.Trust me joyee i write to keep in touch with you only.....and as we know the only medium i can stay in touch with you is through BLOGGING.so i am back again with loads of stories to tell........after all so much has changed now....

A BRIEF HISTORY OF MY LIFE

i guess to the world i am one aloof creature....not exactly introvert but moreover the kind of person who likes to keep to oneself.i am sure this kind of demeanour is not applauding,but thats me.as such my life is not that exciting ,but i have my share of expriences.
Lets start with the laest movie that i saw Jaane tu yaa jaana, a very well made movie with tha same old story told in a refreshing way.i think i was in 4th grade i had just come across a spectacled boy with a frail body structure nothing too impressive.....but still took me by storm .And the impact was very profound till my 11th class,but i think its more stable now.
The difference being that now i dont eat,drink and sleep him.
but having spend all my teenage years drooling over one guy looks such a waste to me.my interaction with the opposite sex is on a all time low,cant blame him.never felt like interacting with anyone .and now unlike the movie my story didnt have a happy ending.....its been 4 years since i am on talking terms with him,with only one lesson to learn movies are nothing but imaginative fantasies that only make you cribb about how incomplete your life is.

my illusions with life

to be precise i still dont know wat i want out of my life......i want to be rich,happy and in the right words i should get a feel that my life is worth it......the thing with me is that i am focussed yet confused.so much i want to do that i dont........i dont know if i can make myself a bit more assertive.....

well a boring weekand.....

who on earth plans to start your day with with nothing to do on mind.Its me........got up and reluctantly gone for my driving lessons,i dont hate them but they are surely a pain in my ass....the only good part being at least i can say that i drive a car.and officially my super lazy weekand started with going to sleep again for another 3three hours and here i am writing my BLOG something so new to me,having isssues how to go about it.

And just to give you a kind of recap of the week gone by.Nothing so extraordinary about it.......i was thinking its going to be like this or that.....but yeah its an engineering college what more can i expect.i think moreover the problem lies in me...i have more of antisocial traits in me and my highly inflated ego,even i question its existance.

Personal life turmoil is on all time high,but still things were at a brighter side atlaest now.its again for me to decide what di i have to do.......but this strange feeling empowering me that

whats wrong with me

with all excitement and exuberance gone in vain.......the timetable sucks.i wish we students had the right to rebel against our college fellow.But the palable thing with me is sudden anguish i am feeling around me. the whole feeling is bugging me off........there is surely something to be proved to myself.
and my companion for life time,my best friend,the only person i think on earth who will always be there for me no matter whatJOYEETA BISWAS i just wish i ahd some medium on this earth to express how she has impacted me as a person.i think a testimonial is surely due for her.....just had to say i miss her.......come back joyee......

ITS MY FIRST TIME

here i come to write the myself out.............trust me the reason of me starting with the blogs is that my friends are completly hooked to it. and the world is going totally crazy about it...........so just decided to try my own hand on it.me being not much of a literary person.........can be kind of an exprience writing one.


hope to just write my feeling out......well enough for today...next time wen i login i will surely have stuff to write...:)